The power of emotional regulation: Tips to help your kids manage emotions at work

As a parent, you likely remember the concepts of emotional regulation—that is, being able to recognize and manage one’s emotional state using healthy, age-appropriate techniques—from when your child was a toddler and preschooler. Those concepts still apply! Teenagers and young adults often feel intense emotions. Figuring out how to feel what you feel in a healthy way is part of the process of growing up, and that includes learning how to regulate emotions at work. Here are some ideas to keep in mind.

Listen to your inner voice

There may be times when your child feels uneasy or fearful at work—and sometimes, there’s a valid reason for that. The body can recognize potential danger before the mind fully processes it, often showing up as a gut feeling that something isn’t right. It’s important to pay attention to these instincts and take a closer look at the situation to determine whether there are real safety concerns that need to be addressed.

However, there may be other times on the job when your child is having difficulty coping with emotions related to what’s going on outside of work—a breakup, a fight with a friend, worry about school or finances, concern for a sick family member or pet. To stay safe and present at work, emotional regulation is a key strategy.

Benefits of emotional regulation

Learning to regulate your emotions and control your reactions or responses in the workplace is a skill like any other. Why is it a good idea? Having the ability to regulate your emotions promotes and develops:

productivity
teamwork
cohesiveness
trust
relationships
respect
communication

Regulating emotions also helps limit or control impulsive decisions, speech or behaviour.

Recognizing emotions

To regulate emotions effectively, the first step is recognizing them. What may appear as anger is often something else beneath the surface. People sometimes use anger as a protective response when they are actually feeling embarrassed, sad, or frustrated. In these cases, anger acts as a defence mechanism rather than the true emotion.

Encourage your child to pause and reflect on what they’re really feeling by considering some of the ideas below.

What signs or symptoms do you recognize with various feelings? For example, when you’re angry, do you notice physical signs or symptoms like sweating, shaking, or increased heart rate?
What types of behaviours do you display when you are experiencing these emotions?
Are you aware of certain triggers?
When do you tend to experience these emotions?
How do you tend to respond in stressful situations? Fight, freeze, and flight are some common categories.
How would others perceive your reactions? Some introspection and empathy can help you to consider how your emotional reactions may impact others.
What influences your emotions? Possible factors can include lack of sleep, hunger, workplace culture, limited exercise, self-talk, needing to take a break, or inadequate training.

Ideas to try

There are a variety of strategies your child can practice and learn to better regulate emotions. They include:

making a conscious effort to ensure your emotional state doesn’t dictate your reactions.
not ignoring your feelings.
considering the areas you know impact your emotions to see if you can make changes—for example, can you get more sleep, figure out some time management strategies, decrease some work hours or an extracurricular activity?
asking for clarification and asking questions, if you’re feeling frustrated or overwhelmed by a work task.
using a tool, such as a fidget tool in your jacket pocket, to help you feel grounded if you’re experiencing anxiety.
paying attention to your body language: clenching your teeth or hunching your shoulders, for example, are good cues to let you know something is amiss
practicing mindfulness, breath work, meditation or spending time in nature.
talking to someone supportive, like a friend, a family member or a counsellor; if it’s appropriate in your workplace, consider having a brief word with someone you trust to let them know you’re having a hard time.
encourage your child to pay attention to their inner dialogue, especially in moments of embarrassment or self-doubt. Challenging negative thoughts can help shift perspective, as assumptions about how others perceive us are often inaccurate. Taking a moment to question those thoughts can lead to a more balanced and realistic view of the situation.
learning about building empathy and understanding of other people’s perspectives.

It’s important to remember that emotional regulation is about managing emotions—not suppressing them. Feeling upset at times is normal. While responsibilities still need to be met at work, it’s equally important to be kind to yourself and recognize that emotions are a natural part of life.