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As any parent knows, teens and young adults aren’t exactly always open to listening to parental advice, and advice about workplace safety is no exception. “They’re at that age where they’re becoming independent and doing things on their own. I think that they take a lot of pride in that, and it’s important to them,” points out Kelly Hultink, a parent of teens, as well as a workplace health and safety professional.
“So having a parent come in and tell them how to do their job and things that they should be looking out for—I think brings a defensive stance out.” Read on to discover six tested ways to talk about workplace safety to your child, without them shutting you down.
1. Catch them at the right time
You likely know when your child is receptive. For some kids, the car is a good place to talk, in part because sitting side by side takes the pressure off a formal, sit-down talk. Others may pop in their earbuds the second they reach the passenger seat. Choose your moment (which usually isn’t immediately when they’re done a shift). “When your kid starts talking to you about stuff—randomly they just start sharing things—I think that’s a bit of a cue right there that they’re open for conversation at that point. So, reading their body language, their cues, if they start talking about other things, or even just talking about stuff at work, not necessarily hazards, but ‘oh yeah, I'm working with this co-worker and we’re doing this today’ is a good opportunity to start talking to them and just bringing up little topics,” says Kelly. Check out this post on some conversation starters for ideas.
2. Listen with empathy
“I think it’s so important to have empathy with your own kids, and really trying to remember being a teenager yourself, and what it was like,” says Kelly. “You easily forget how difficult it was, and all the different challenges that they have. And so really trying to put yourself in their shoes, and hearing what they’re saying. They don’t necessarily want answers. They don’t necessarily want advice. Sometimes they just want you to listen,” she says, adding that people are only going to listen to you if you hear them first.
3. Personalize it
When Kelly talks to high school students about being safe at work, asking them to share an anecdote about a workplace incident can often help them feel more comfortable talking about safety issues. For parents, mentioning what happened to cousin Avery or talking about a local news report can help get your point across. “Young adults often think that they’re invincible, and it’s not going to happen to them,” says Kelly. “Having the conversations about where dangerous things do happen can get their attention and make the possibility seem more real to them,” she says. Then, she says, you can add there’s a reason why there are control methods put into place in a workplace: to protect you because those incidents have actually happened.
4. Paraphrase
Paraphrasing is an effective communication technique, says Kelly. “Sometimes what you’re hearing is not exactly what they’re saying. So, relaying it back to them by saying ‘Okay, so this is what I’m hearing. Is that what you meant?’” It’s also a way of showing someone that they are heard and understood and that their thoughts are valid and respected.
5. Collaborate
By asking your child what they think and asking them how they solved or would solve the situation, you give your child the opportunity to figure things out on their own, but with support, she says. “Control is usually what’s missing anytime where you’re not feeling safe. So, the more that you can give that back to them and empower them, the safer and more confident they’re going to feel in the safety situation.” Similarly, it’s fine to point out that you think they are capable and responsible, but that it’s also hard to be aware of every hazard if you don’t acknowledge it. “Just talking about some potential hazards together and exploring what to do to avoid them can go a long way.”
6. Be calm
By the time they hit the teen years, your child may practically have an advanced degree in interpreting your facial expressions, choice of words and tone of voice. If your child tells you something a little (or a lot) alarming about their workplace, stay calm and withhold judgement, says Kelly, but know that your feelings are sometimes still reflected in your face. “Really try to pay attention to the way your child is perceiving you. You know, if your eyebrows kind of go up and you make a face or you do a little gasp even though you say it’s fine, they’re going to be tuned into that."
And of course, whether they’re talking about workplace safety or something else entirely, it’s always a good parenting move to be receptive when they start chatting to you, even if it’s at a time when you’re busy or tired. “It opens up that door, so they’re going to come to you for other things or be more receptive when you bring up something related to workplace safety,” says Kelly.