Supporting your teen at their first job: Staying informed without overstepping

Parents with children starting their first job: we get it. It’s tough to send your kid out alone into the workforce and getting them to tell you about their day can feel a bit like pulling teeth. But fear not; we’ve got some creative ways you can stay informed without overstepping.

Instead of traditional conversations, we'll explore other methods of communication. This post will cover ways you can continuously check in with your kid without being overbearing. It will walk you through before they start, the first day, after 30 days, and a 60-day check-in.

(Free downloadable poster)

Before they start: Be the observant parent

Before your teen even steps into their new workplace, take note of their excitement, concerns, and any hints they might drop about the job. This is a subtle way to understand their feelings without making it feel like an interrogation.

If you can, visit their workplace before they start. If they’ll be working in a store or restaurant, become a patron. If it’s okay with your teen, introduce yourself to their manager. Having a relationship with their supervisor and being able to visualize the space they are in can help you alleviate your own nerves and get a gut feeling for their workplace.

The first day: Virtual support

Since you can't physically be with your kid on their first day on the job, you can send supportive messages or even a meme to lighten the mood before they head in for their shift, or to be discovered while they're on their break.

Two ways to offer virtual support:

• Texts, gifs, or memes: Send an encouraging text or a funny gif or meme to boost their spirits.
• Instagram, TikTok, or whatever social platform your kid likes the most: Share a relatable post. 

If your kid is particularly receptive to chatting about their day, here are three tips:

• Listen actively: When they do talk about their job, pay attention to the details.  
• Pick up on clues: If they mention colleagues, tasks, or any specific incidents, take note.
• Ask open-ended questions: Instead of "How was your day?" try "Tell me something interesting that happened at work today” or “Who is your favourite coworker so far? Get some ideas on what to ask your kids about their first in this blog post.

30 days in: Do a check-in

You’re probably continuously talking about your kids’ workplace experiences. Do a conscious check-in around the 30-day mark to see how they’ve settled into the workplace. You can ease into this by bringing up topics you've observed or heard them mention.

Tips for offering support:

• Refer to stories they’ve told you: Say something like, "Remember when you mentioned that task? How's that going?"
• Share a work-related article: Send them a news article related to their industry or workplace, and then bring it up during your next car ride.

60 days in: Plan a visit

If it's possible, and if your child is comfortable, consider visiting their workplace. This will be more realistic if your child works in a service role, like in a restaurant or store versus a warehouse or a factory. This can be a great way to get an insider's perspective on their job without feeling intrusive. Depending on your teen and where they work, you may want to give them a heads-up that you’ll be swinging by.

Tips for visiting:

• Observe quietly: Spend some time observing their workplace dynamics discreetly.
• Treat them: Bring them a snack or treat them to lunch during their break.
• Respect the fact that this is their place of work: Remember, teens appreciate parents who respect their independence. Do not go into their workplace with the intention of changing things for them, speaking to their supervisors on their behalf, or even casting judgment.